The ego is a very complicated part of us. It is the "id" in us that would rather hide the candy in our room rather than share it with our family. It is the part of us that gossips about someone who did something hurtful to us. It is the part of us that is a selfish, needy child that wants their needs met and wants it NOW. Everyone has an ego, and I think it's impossible to completely get rid of it. But you can help quiet it and let your "good side" be the one in charge. Harry Potter's Sirius Black explains it perfectly:
How To: Quiet The Ego
1) Recognize that the universe does not, in fact, revolve around you.
Recognize that you are a tiny grain of sand on a beach, a fleck of dust in the wind. There are bigger things than you in this world. There are people will more difficult problems than you have in your life, and the universe cannot always cater to your every need, no matter how much you think you might need something. A great way to connect with this feeling of humility is to go hiking somewhere in true nature. Climb a mountain, hike to a waterfall, or even hike up a large hill near your home. Breath in the nature and look at the greatness of the Earth. Realize that you are small, and you are lucky enough to be a part of this world that we have created. Another way to do this is to volunteer somewhere, such as a soup kitchen, a retirement home, or an animal shelter. You will be helping others, and you will be brought back down to earth by seeing other's life situations that are probably more difficult than your own.
2) Everyone has their own path.
The ego loves to judge others by their actions, words, or even by their clothes. However, we have no right to judge anyone, no matter what they do. Everyone has been put on this earth to follow their own personal spiritual path. On their path, they will learn, love, and make mistakes, whether we see all of those things happening or not. When you realize this, you will know that we cannot take other's words and actions personally. When someone insults us or does something that hurts our feelings, our ego would love to take this personally. In turn, we get upset, hurt, and angry, but we must realize that we have no control over other's actions.
Therefore, we must accept whatever they do as just being part of their own personal path. Don't take any harmful words or actions personally because it has nothing to do with you. It is part of their spiritual path, and they will have to learn later. This may help with jealousy, too. Do not be jealous, for everyone has different successes and talents for a spiritual, divine purpose. This goes along with compliments and flattery too. Our ego loves to be stroked with compliments and flattery, but we must be humble. These compliments are also part of this person's path, and while they might make you happy, you shouldn't dwell on them. You can accept them, but don't obsess over them. Letting the ego grow larger will not help you. Don't judge, and know in your heart that you have your own path while everyone else does to.
3) Think before you speak.
The ego is like an unruly child in the classroom: interrupting others while they are speaking, pushing a child over when they are angry, or crying when they don't get their way. While we don't do these things as adults (at least I hope not), the ego finds ways around this. See, the ego LOVES to over-react. The ego does not "think," it only over-reacts based on emotion and does not include any logic. It is important not to hurt people with words. Words are powerful things that can easily stick in a person's mind for the rest of their life. So in order to control the ego, we must of course recognize that everyone has their own path, but we must always think about what we are saying before we say it. Have you ever said something that seems harmless in your mind, but you found out that it deeply hurt the person and you didn't know why? That's because the ego allowed you to think that it was okay to say that thing, no matter how selfish or hurtful it came out as. Stop and think before you speak, and do not let your ego's childish emotions take over you. You are no longer a child, so you should never allow your ego to make you act like one.
4) Meditate.
We all have an inner peace. Within our soul, we have an intelligence that has the answer to all of our questions .We have the peace and serenity in our center that we cannot find in every day-to-day life. The ego is a shallow problem. When we meditate deep enough, we push the ego aside and we focus on the 'here and now.' We can feel the peace that we all have deeply rooted within us when we meditate. Meditation can help you feel calm, focused, and humble as well. The universe is within us, and the ego is a petty part of us that we can easily quiet down, yet so many of us let it control our lives. Find a quiet place, whether that be the floor of your bedroom or on a quiet beach. Find any position that's comfortable, close your eyes, and let yourself relax in silence. It may be difficult to do at first since our busy minds are unruly, but with practice, you will be able to slowly quiet the ego and fill your heart and soul with peace and love.
We have been living with our unruly ego for years, so all of these tips will be an ongoing life practice. The first step to quieting the ego is recognizing that you have one. From there, you can follow these tips one and a time and find your own path to greatness.
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